Tuesday, May 29, 2007

WHY IS GAS SO EXPENSIVE?


According to the media, gas is now so expensive because the oil companies are changing, updating and modifying their refineries. They are converting into ethanol or into lima beans, or any other stupidity that they are trying to stick to us via television or printed news. Also because due to this conversion, the production is low, thus the offer is lower than what the market demands. It is a well known fact that when consumption is larger than production, prices go up. The basic idea and only truth is that all these big companies must make the same or higher profits than the previous year. THAT IS REALLY THE REASON FOR GAS PRICES TO BE SO HIGH. If Exxon-Mobil made 40 billion dollars last year, why should they make less this one? After all, the shareholders demand profits and the CEO of the company needs to buy another mansion or a new airplane. We, the stupid consumer, must pay for all those luxuries. In addition to that, at the end of the year we go to the magazine stand and purchase FORBES 500 to check who are the top 10 or 50, or 100 companies according to sales and profits. We are real masochists.

There is no point for me to prolong this commentary, with unnecessary data. You can obtain that via Google. Just enter "'OIL COMPANIES PROFITS", or anything else similar to that and you will scream of anger and disgust. My point here is not only to express my rage towards these greedy companies, but also to expose the television networks and most newspapers and magazines, that give us the news, fully massaged and distorted by these companies and commented by those so called economy experts. The "society of sheep" buys anything and everything they are told. They even find consolation when someone in the TV News, with a tremendous sense of relief, says: "If you think we have it bad here, look at Europe. Over there a gallon of gas is $7.00!
What they forget to mention is that in Europe the cars are mainly stick shift, smaller, with an average performance of 50 miles per gallon, and only used by most drivers on weekends, because public transportation is abundant, and it would be unthinkable to work more than 10 miles away from home. So to those reporters who make comparisons I suggest they do their research in detail before they open their mouths with appeasing comments.

The same way that Cindy Sheehan gave up on her quest to fight against the war in Iraq, because she realized she was alone on that fight when even the democrats in the Senate let her down, that same way, we have to give up on the gas issue. We will pay whatever those oil tycoons want because we don't have a system in this country that protects the consumer. We are at the bottom of the pyramid. Fortunately for the majority of the people, life is rosy and the mentality is so narrow that everything is accepted as long as we live in "The Greatest Country In The World".

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

ABSURDITY


I live in a development, built in 1998. When I purchased my house in 1999 , I decided to plant a hibiscus, some ruelias and a ficus tree in a medium/large planter. They are in a corner at the beginning of my paved roadway to the house main entrance. But they also are close to a fire hydrant, which was put there by the city during the building of this development.

Being that I am aware of the importance of a fire hydrant and considering that in case of fire my house can be easily protected by the proximity of this artifact, I would never ever commit the stupidity of blocking it with branches or any other unmovable obstacle.

Today, as I was secretly watering my plants with a watering can, (we have a drought in Broward county and since they do not give details about the current ban on the use of water, whether you can use a watering can or not, I try to do it very discreetly) someone with a cell phone in his hand approached me and asked me if I owned the house. My first reaction was one of caution. Who is this guy? Why is he asking me this question? It turned out that he was working for the company we hired to manage our development and he wanted me to get on the phone and talk to someone from his office. I guess he was confused and could not convey to me what he was sent to do. I gently grabbed his cell, and Susan (from the management company) explained to me that the Fire Marshall had been informed that I had branches, plants, flowers, you name it, around the fire hydrant. No need to describe my reaction and answer, of course, all within civility. The Fire Marshall, well mannered and easy to talk to (oddly enough I am not being ironic this time), told me to make sure to maintain a 7 feet clearance from the front and sides, and 4 feet 6 inches from the back of the hydrant. From my explanation he believed that there were no branches, etc. surrounding this hydrant. Therefore, no $250 fine was going to be imposed on the association for every day the "crime" was being committed by this "perpetrator". There was nothing blocking the hydrant, front or sides. But...some of my ruelias had to be chopped off, as well as three flexible branches from the hibiscus. I can imagine a big fat ass 350 lbs fireman trying to get in the back of the fire hydrant, disturbed by flimsy flower stems, 4 feet away only instead of 4 feet 6 inches, in order to connect the hose to the front of this hydrant. Wow! what a complicated maneuver to attach the hose! And to think that I always believed the easiest way to dock a hose to a fire hydrant was through the front, where the water jets out from!
By the way, there are no fat ass firemen. I was trying to make a point. If there is a job I respect is that of a fireman.

After I accomplished the killing of my flowers I was confronted with a bigger challenge...the ficus tree. Actually the tree trunk was exactly 54 inches away from the back of the hydrant, but not the pot! The pot was guilty by 3 inches.
How do you eliminate the pot without doing away with the tree? Simple, you don't. So this tired body of 66 years, with four herniated discs, got his electric saw and started sawing away. 40 minutes later the second killing came to an end. I even distributed the "remains" into three bundles, tied up and neatly placed by the bulk pick up side for Saturday. God forbid if I don't follow the rules, according to the book on that one too!

I remember, ever since I was a young man, I learned that plants have a life too
and that our planet needs to be respected and protected for if we don't we won't have a planet one day. I also remember that not all persons need to have a dog or a cat. Some could have plants. We make our choices, whatever the reasons might be. I also remember that laws were supposed to be made to protect us
and to maintain some sanity in our lives. Unfortunately, people who impose these laws, behind a desk, paper shufflers, are totally out of touch with reality
and sink in the lowest of the absurd. I can imagine what could happen if there was a law to eliminate all pets that shit all over the place and their owners do not pick up after them. Should these pets be put to death like the plants are? Of course not, that would be a criminal act! I, personally, would fine the owners. I guess there is a pronounced discrimination. A plant is dispensable. A pet is a member of the family.

Why am I so mad? Well, let's look at this scenario: Right at the entrance of my community there is family with two children. One young adolescent of about 11 years of age who walks her dog most of the times unleashed and most of the times shitting by my driveway. She does not pick up, even though she's been told many times to do it. If you call the police their answer is "We don't get involved in community problems". Too bad the political position of "Shit Marshall" does not exist yet. The other child is a 250 lbs ponytail teenager, who invites his friends to a pot-out party in front of my house where the guest parking, unfortunately, is located. The police has been called a few times, but these thugs keep coming back almost every Friday night, invited by the host thug. Before leaving they make sure to dispose of their fat-food (yes FAT, not fast) bags, right on the parking ground. Shouldn't the same spies sent by the city, every single day, to figure out how to fine law abiding citizens for 3 or 6 inches of flowers, stretching towards the back of a fire hydrant, send as well another squealer to get rid of these lower-than-insects humanoids?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

BY THE BOOK

This happened not too long ago to a humble family applying for low cost living facilities through HUD (Department of Housing and Urban Development). I, personally have not checked the veracity of this story, but I truly believe the source where it came from. Life can be very cruel when you are desperately trying to make ends meet if you don't have the means and you are faced with the reality manipulated by bureaucrats.
In order not to disclose the identity of the characters in this true story, we shall name the head of household
being interviewed HOH, and the interviewer HUD
(I didn't have to think much about this one).

HOH: Good morning! I am here to apply for the Low-Rent apartment.

HUD: Hi. Please have a seat. Did you bring the documents required by law?

HOH: Yes. Here they are...my last Income Tax return...My last employment
check stub...My Social Security card...My Marriage Certificate and all
the other papers I was told to bring.

HUD: Let me see...Everything seems to be in order...Wait...is this your last
pay check stub? Is this weekly or biweekly?

HOH: Weekly

HUD: Oh, oh! I'm afraid you are making more money than what's required!
It's not much more...$54 for the year. You are not eligible. I am so
sorry!

HOH: What do you mean I don't qualify? Are you telling me that for fifty four
dollars I can't have the apartment?

HUD: I'm afraid so. Unfortunately you are over the set limit.

HOH: Can't you make an exception considering the amount?

HUD: I know how you feel. I am so terribly sorry, but there is nothing I can
do. Why don't you look for another job that pays just a dollar and
change less a week. That will bring your yearly income below the
limit.

(At this point, the conversation became irrelevant and the poor guy started walking out of the office, cursing more than his luck with probably some epithets, which I dare not to print here.)

Note: The "By-The-Book" bureaucratic mentality, enhanced by its master, the computer, made this particular HUD worker a total robotic being, totally stripped of any common sense and logical thinking.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

WHY ISN'T OK TO SAY OK?


This is another true story. It happens everywhere in our country, where if your last name is McDonald you may have to ask permission to the junk food giant to use it. Leave it to our lawyers. They know how to protect their pockets with the big corporations. Anyway, that is not my story, but it relates to suing and protecting against suing. My story has to do with all the laws, rules and regulations that flood our daily lives. It has to do with the equally incomprehensible frivolous lawsuits. And it has to do with the fear of being sued, no matter how ridiculous the subject could be. This story is a consequence of what I have described before. It shows how the human being acts like a computer and strips "itself" of its conscience. It may not be a spectacular newsworthy story, as a matter of fact it is a common non-flashy insignificant one in the realm of things, like thousands of similar stories that never make it to the open. Here it is:

GOOD EVENING. I AM CALLING TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY FRIEND ROBERT LAMBERT. HE WAS OPERATED THIS AFTERNOON AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF HE IS OK.

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE PATIENT?

LAMBERT, L-A-M-B-E-R-T, ROBERT

HE IS IN THE RECOVERY ROOM

IS HE OK?

SORRY WE CAN'T DIVULGE ANY INFORMATION

I DID NOT ASK YOU TO DIVULGE ANTYTHING. ALL I WANT YOU TO TELL ME IF HE IS OK!

ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT HE IS IN THE RECOVERY ROOM

YES I HEARD THAT BEFORE AND I KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T DIVULGE ANY DETAILS. JUST PLEASE TELL ME IF HE IS OK AFTER THE OPERATION!

I ALREADY TOLD YOU I CAN'T DIVULGE ANYTHING

YOU CAN'T TELL ME IF HE IS OK?

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT SIR.

Phone hanging after the word "Sir'

Note: All names have been changed or avoided to protect this writer from a frivolous lawsuit.(hey, you'll never know!)

"OR YOU MAY....."


Automatic recordings on cell phones are getting to a point beyond ridiculous.
This is what might eventually happen in the very near future when you call a cell phone number and the party you want to reach does not answer the call:

"AT THE TONE YOU MAY LISTEN TO MORE RECORDINGS, OR YOU MAY MAKE YOURSELF A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH; OR IF YOU CAN'T HOLD IT ANYMORE YOU MAY GO THE BATHROOM; OR YOU MAY SWEEP THE FLOORS; OR YOU MAY WATER YOUR PLANTS; OR IF YOUR PREFERENCE IS LISTENING TO MUSIC YOU MAY PRESS NUMBER 3 FOR A SELECTION, OR IF YOU NEED MORE TIME PRESS 6 AND YOU MAY START REMODELING YOUR HOUSE; OR YOU MAY......"

And this is what, as a consequence, you might want to do out of frustration....
...BANG! (Check first the law to make sure that shooting your phone with a gun, inside your house, is legal and can be considered self-defense)