LATEST PRESIDENTIAL POLLS

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

This morning, while watching the news on one of the TV channels, I think I heard there was a new poll on the presidential candidates... People with dogs favor McCain over Obama!I said I think because it is so retarded that I prefer not to believe it. People with dogs! What's next? OK, here is what's next:

1. Poll conducted among 1400 people who like radishes:
McCain...49%
Obama...49%
Nader.....2% (no teeth to bite into them)

2. Poll conducted among 869 people who sleep in the nude:
McCain...9%
Obama...18%
Nader.....0%
Carmen Electra...73% (And she is not running!)

3. Poll conducted among 1200 people who wear "no-name" sneakers:
McCain...23%
Obama... 32%
Nader.....45% (it definitely had to do with the fact he was a consumer advocate when he was normal)

4. Poll conducted among 530 people named Bufer:
McCain...88%
Obama...0% (did you expect anything else?)
Nader.....12%

5. Poll conducted among 962 people who only shave once a week:
McCain... 12%
Obama... 12%
Nader...... 76%

6. Poll conducted among 841 people who don't give a shit about polls:
McCain...10%
Obama... 5%
Nader..... 2%

7. Poll conducted among 1300 people who sell anything on Ebay:
McCain...83% ( I have no explanation on this. No idea why)
Obama...17%
Nader.....0%

8. Poll conducted among people who believe that Christ appeared on a piece of toast:
McCain... 3%
Obama... 2%
Nader.......3%
Local Parrish Priest....92% (we counted 132 different denominations, among them "The Church of the Appearance on French Toast")

9. Poll conducted among 777 McDonald's over the counter employees:
McCain...0%
Obama... 0%
Nader.....0%

10. Poll conducted among 2,658,350 people in Southern Florida:
McCain...30% or 12%
Obama...28% or 46%
Nader.....18% 0r 1%
Ileana Ros ...12%
Diaz Balart... 11%
Fidel Castro.....1%

And that my friends....is what I think about the stupid polls and the moronic people who think of them.