"NINEITIS"

If you are still trying to pronounce the title of this article, try no more. It is pronounced NINE-ITIS, or inflamation of the 9 (number 9 ,that is).

Like all poisonous substances there is, fortunately, an antidote to temporarily eliminate "NINEITIS". It is called THE MUTE BUTTON. Unfortunately it only works to eliminate malignant sounds. It does not eradicate the visual part.
You might have guessed it already. I am talking about the cheap, lousy, loud and very often high speed-incomprehensible talk TV commercials, which some times may take up to 30 or 40% of the entire duration of the program you are watching.
Yes, that wonderful little button on your remote control.

All you have to do is press it for the entire duration of the stupid, moronic commercial, advertising a product that costs either 99 cents; or $9.99; or $99.99; or $999.99 and so on and so forth, not to mention the $19.99; $29.99; $39.99, etc. etc. I think you got the idea now.

Of course, this medication does not work on printed ads such as this below.
I personally avoid them by not buying the newspaper or magazine. Believe me I don't miss much reading, considering that almost half of the space in those papers or magazines is occupied by ads. The internet offers me all the reading I can absorbe and I can select the language too.

It seems to me that either these companies completely lack any creativity, or their marketing "geniouses" copy from their equally inept peers, thus creating an annoying invasion of the "9" in our lives. Also, it could be taken as a direct insult to our intelligence, believing that by showing one dollar less (or a penny) we feel we are paying much less.

Wouldn't be more honest and less insulting if a car dealer, for instance, (I chose this one because they are probably one of the most abominable culprits of "NINEITIS") would start advertising a monthly lease for $300, instead of $299? or if one of those screaming commercials (especially when you are finally falling asleep watching your favorite show or whatever) would round up a figure to the nearest 10 (did we learn that in school for nothing? Even Uncle Sam, allows you to do that!).
I think the guy on this picture heard me, but with that look and presence I woud not trust him!

I, for one, use the antidote to the max. My index finger is by far my strongest one pushing that mute button, although the middle one is running a close second when I think of the advertisers that consider us little less than Neanderthals. Hey, even the big oil companies don't mind if gas stations use this "wonderful" strategy of the "9"!

Unfortunately, there is no total cure in sight for this epidemic I call NINEITIS,
because to the advertising companies and the corporations that buy their ideas, we are just cattle. . . .

... A Society Of Sheep. . . .

There are other ways to avoid this bombardment of insults to our intelect. One of them is not to watch TV, although it could be interpreted as ostracism.

I know what you are thinking...How do we avoid "NINEITIS" at a store? We are physically there, no TV, and we see that all price tags are based on the number 9 at the end. We can't avoid it! But we can get even! Simply, pretend you forgot the price when the clerk at the register takes the item to scan it, and ask " How much is that item?". The answer will probably be $99.99 (or whatever with 99 cents). Your immediate reply: " Oh. Thank God! I was worried it would be at least $100!".

Look at his/her face when you say that!

It is priceless!

They are so brainwashed by their company policy that all of a sudden, with the best of our intentions, we have caused a short circuit in their brain!

Side Effects of "NINEITIS" (this is more or less how you get affected with these commercials):

.Vomiting
.Diarrhea
.Constipation
.Headaches
.Menstrual Cramps (ladies only, I hope)
.Blurred Vision
.Drowsiness
.Gambling (maybe?)

SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR....USE THE MUTE BUTTON!

(Sorry, I can't help you with the visual, unless you want to wear those plastic eye-glasses they give you at the ophtalmologist after he dilutes your pupils for the next 6 hours)