PREDICTABLE PREDICTIONS BY NOSTRODAGONAMUS

Sometimes I get these incredible feelings about the future. I see things happening as a consequence of this weak economy. I am neither an expert on the subject, nor I pretend to be. Let us say I try to see it in a logical way and that I have the virtue, among all my mistakes, of directing my instincts instead of letting them flow on a mere emotional basis. In other words, I think. Excuse me for my arrogance.



Given that introduction and without further adieu (ado?), like it is routinely said, here are my PREDICTABLE PREDICTIONS:



1. Gas will hit the $4.00 a gallon average price before Labor Day

2. The remaining of 2008 will bring more foreclosures to the point of
creating an economical chaos in the country. Various Banks will lay off
thousands of employees, which will cause a domino reaction in other
related fields, thus contributing to a dramatic increase in the
unemployment rate. At least to 7%, although we will be told that
it is no more than 5%.

3. All food products will average a 15% increase, at least through May
2009, with Milk, vegetables and fruits suffering the highest hike to
about 25%

4. The following stores will be either reducing their presence or going out
of business in the next 9 to 12 months:
Albertson's Supermarkets
Miami Subs
Gateway Personal Computers
Blockbusters
Carvel Ice Cream Parlors
Bealls
Best Buy
Joann's Craft Stores
Little Caesar Pizzerias

5. Most USA airlines will be charging extra for window and aisle seats.
Duh!


I have more in my list but enough with depressing news. Now some
good predictions, although totally unrelated to the economy, or should
I say...Precisely because they have nothing to do with the economy?:


1. There will be no major hurricanes to worry about in Florida from June
through December 2008

2. The housing market will begin its recuperation around April of 2010.
It will be a gradual improvement, which will reach its zenith sometime
during 2014. However this recovery at its highest point will be at
least 5% below the overinflated house market we experienced before
we started the plunge.

3. At least 50 % of our troops in Iraq will start the return home in the fall
of 2009. That in itself is a victory, although no one can define what is
victory in that war/invasion.

4. Both the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks will be in contention
for the playoffs during the 2008-2009 season. Laugh all you want.

5. This one is more believable...The Yankees will finally win it all in
2008. Sorry Mets fans!
6. I, therefore predict that Yankees fans are now liking me; while Mets
fans think I am an asshole. I can take it.

We now come to the end of my predictions with a Grand Finale...
I predict that no matter how bad Obama or Hillary may perform during their mandate, either one will make us forget George W. Bush. Thank God! (Yes, I am discarding McCain. Please! You didn't think I was going to predict he would be our next President!)

THE END

DEEP THOUGHTS

I am aware that George Carlin is the master of "quotes", thus I will not even attempt to come close, but here are some of my "deep thoughts".

1. If the Market drops 300 points, why are those morons up there
applauding at closing time?

2. If Mouth to Mouth Resuscitation is now considered useless and no
longer adviced (The latest report says that only CPR should be applied
to victims)...can someone caught giving mouth to mouth be sued for
sexual harassment?

3. If the excuse given by the big oil companies on their profits is that they
are looking for the welfare of their share holders...should we make
those shareholders pay $5.00 for a gallon of gas and reduce the rest of
the citizens cost to $3.00/gal.?

4. If an item costs $999.99...why do we get a rebate after purchase of
$50.00, and not of $49.99?

5. If most basketball games are won in the last 3 minutes....why don't
we just turn the TV on to watch say...only the last 5 minutes?

6. If a razor blade is so good that it can last forever (TV commercial tells
us "you don't need to buy another one ever!")...why do they tell you
"You get the second one for free?"

7. If the doctor prescribes a medicine for dizziness...why does the label
indicates "warning, it may cause drowsiness".

8. If the newest photo cameras are called "Digital"...what did we use to
press the button on the old cameras? Was it not a finger, also known as
a digit?

9. If we are worried about security in our country...why do we keep all our
forces in other countries?

and...

10 If we only use our feet in 2 isolated occasions (field goal and
punting) during a Football game...why do we call it "FOOTball" and
why do we call it SOCCER when we use our feet most of the times?
Also...do we throw a bowl down the alley or is it a ball?

Alright, alright, Carlin has nothing to fear from me, but I just wanted to share these thoughts with the 2 or 3 persons who read my blogs.