I am aware that George Carlin is the master of "quotes", thus I will not even attempt to come close, but here are some of my "deep thoughts".
1. If the Market drops 300 points, why are those morons up there
applauding at closing time?
2. If Mouth to Mouth Resuscitation is now considered useless and no
longer adviced (The latest report says that only CPR should be applied
to victims)...can someone caught giving mouth to mouth be sued for
sexual harassment?
3. If the excuse given by the big oil companies on their profits is that they
are looking for the welfare of their share holders...should we make
those shareholders pay $5.00 for a gallon of gas and reduce the rest of
the citizens cost to $3.00/gal.?
4. If an item costs $999.99...why do we get a rebate after purchase of
$50.00, and not of $49.99?
5. If most basketball games are won in the last 3 minutes....why don't
we just turn the TV on to watch say...only the last 5 minutes?
6. If a razor blade is so good that it can last forever (TV commercial tells
us "you don't need to buy another one ever!")...why do they tell you
"You get the second one for free?"
7. If the doctor prescribes a medicine for dizziness...why does the label
indicates "warning, it may cause drowsiness".
8. If the newest photo cameras are called "Digital"...what did we use to
press the button on the old cameras? Was it not a finger, also known as
a digit?
9. If we are worried about security in our country...why do we keep all our
forces in other countries?
and...
10 If we only use our feet in 2 isolated occasions (field goal and
punting) during a Football game...why do we call it "FOOTball" and
why do we call it SOCCER when we use our feet most of the times?
Also...do we throw a bowl down the alley or is it a ball?
Alright, alright, Carlin has nothing to fear from me, but I just wanted to share these thoughts with the 2 or 3 persons who read my blogs.
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2 comments:
Why do we park in the driveway, and drive in the parkway?
What the hell is Blogging? Is it like a B-version of logging?
What's the difference between a deep thought and a shallow thought? I thought thoughts all came from the same part of the brain. Or am I thinking too deeply right about now?
I could have used the one about the driveway, but it would not have been an original thought. I have read that somewhere else.
Now...do you have any comment at all on the thought about Wall Street at closing time? Or about any of the thoughts I wrote?
And, by the way, there are no shallow thoughts. Both words are totally incongruous. If you think you are not shallow, and if you are shallow you can't think. Let's see what you come up with now, dude! Anyway, thanks for at least reading my blogs!
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