AMERICA STOP WHINING AND SEE YOUR SHRINK

July 15
"America, stop whining and see your shrink!"
That is what we've been told by "The Denial Masters". Maybe they are right. Maybe we should see the economy and the war and health care and gas prices and everything else that we "think" it's going wrong as a product of our vivid imagination. OK, I am going to start right now...Poof!
What a wonderful life! This is my itinerary for tomorrow: First, after I get up and listen to the news my reply to those broadcast liars will be "You are sooo negative! You are trying to scare us with news about recession, depression, inflation and all the negative -ations about our Nation. How poetic is that? I am not going to get psychologically influenced by your crap "
This is the best country in the world and we are better now than ever before! Our Commander-in-Chief said so this morning at the same time the Chairman of the Federal Reserve was giving us a report to scare us even more. Some nerve! Who picks these guys? And whatever our big honcho says we need to respect and adhere to with our eyes closed. He liberated us from Saddam Hussein and we should always be thankful for that. Imagine if Hussein were still alive? (I am trying to figure it, believe me).
I think I am regressing, sorry. Where were we...oh yes, we are a bunch of whiners and we are psychologically influenced by the media and those liberals!
So, after listening to the absurdities we have to deal with every single day for the last 7 years, I will go to fill up my gas tank and if it shows $90 in the pump I will go inside the gas station and hand the cashier a $50 bill. If he/she asks me for the other $40 my answer will be logical and emphatic: "I know you think the pump shows $90, but it is only in your mind, so take the $50 and please stop whining. You are not helping our emotional state".
Right after that I will run to my car and zoom as fast as I can, just in case that stupid cashier decides to call the police, who are probably also psychologically damaged by all these lies.
My next destination will be the supermarket. I go there about 3 times a week because, me too, I have been whining under the influence of the news and have, for the last two years. been under the impression that I could not afford to do a one big shopping. Thus if I split it into three times I do not get so psychologically sick. Anyway, I will fill up the cart and again I will pay cash, to avoid being ripped off by the cashier who even knowing that the computer is rigged will try to charge me more than what it really is. It is possible that I will save on this quick transaction about $60 bucks easily. You got it...I will speed off to my car, throw everything into the trunk and fly away to...my next destination: Home sweet home, where my mortgage, according to the bunch on incompetent Bank employees, is overdue. They are the worst offenders when it comes to whine. If your payment is not in their hands on the due date they start panicking and creating such a psychological confusion that they end up making us believe that we really owe them the monthly mortgage payment. Awful group of whiners!

It is raining and very dark and humid, although it's only 11 am. After unloading the car and loading the refrigerator I turn the air conditioned on to cool off from all that running and escaping from those whiners. I turn all the lights in the living room, after all we should take advantage that electricity is at the cheapest it has ever been. Wait till I get the statement from the only company that controls the electric energy where I live! Are they for a surprise when they realize I caught them lying in the billing, pretending it should be $300, when in reality I know it is under $100, and that's what I will send them! And if they whine with reminders and collection agencies and threatening to shut my power off I will remind them that they are not been patriotic, they are not in touch with reality and that the three rates increases for the last three years was just gossip, they never went through except in their weak minds psychologically massaged by the media and yes, those liberals!
July 16
I have never been in jail before. This is awful! Thank God they gave me a pen and some paper so I can continue telling you about all these whiners who believe the economy is the worst it has been in the last 20 years or more. The cops showed up in my house and arrested me alleging I had committed a crime by walking off (ran off, actually) from a gas station and a supermarket without paying or paying less, whatever. I tried to explain to them but they told me I had the right to remain silent, so I did. I will be released in a few hours because it's my first offense, but I have to appear in front of a Judge to explain why i did it and get my sentencing or dismissal. I hope I don't get a delusional Judge who believes the economy and everything else is going south. If that happens I am in deep trouble! I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO PROOF THAT THEY ARE ALL WHINERS AND I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THAT
THIS IS ALL A PSYCHOLOGICAL STATE UNDER WHICH THEY ARE
TOTALLY BLINDED.

The best thing i could do, while out on my own recognizance, should be to contact the White House and try to get my President to stand by me as i followed his thinking, but I am sure he will be busy preparing for the next speech regarding how well we are doing in Iraq. I would not want to interrupt his trend of thoughts, because when he is inspired we all should listen, like E.F.Hutton. Bad example, sorry. I forgot they went bankrupt, probably for whining more than anybody else.

And that "my friends" (so wonderful to emulate McCain, the only guy with war experience, albeit as a prisoner all the time) is what happened to me for not joining the whiners.