THE DE"BAIT"

Throughout a couple of lopsided interviews we were able to witness the wit of a professional versus the ignorance of a hick. But that "aperitif" was obviously not enough to satiate our hunger. We needed a debate to catch our Alaskan fish. The De"bait" adventure was the hook line and "stinker" needed to confirm this was a no contest. A real pro, Biden, facing Queen Crab. The crab was lost the moment she opened her mouth. (Queen Crab or Barracuda, same big mouth)

It is, nevertheless, worthy of a Broadway comedy. Here is my version:

"Ladies and gentlemen please welcome....blah, blah, blah."
(Applause). "Can I call you Joe?"

From now on all I am going to quote and satirized are the barrage of cliches by the Hockey Mom Joe 6-pack candidate.

1st question from the moderator:

What is your take on the Wall Street "Rescue Plan"? (or something like that)

" Golly Gee, Fannie and Fred...what a messy couple! They screw up and we have to bail them out! Let them sort their problems in their own intimacy rather than looking for a divorce. A marriage is a sacred union between a macho and his woman and God wants it that way. I do take issue. (wink)"
Interpretation of that statement by intelligent audience: ???????

2nd question:
What is your agenda on the economy?
" I took on those big oil companies in Alaska, Doggone it! Drill,baby drill!
(wink). Blah,blah,blah,blah,We are a team of Mavericks and will not allow drilling in Wasilla. I have lots of memorabilia there hanging on my walls above the fireplace. Those are my precious awards. They can drill anywhere else in the State. That's Maverick! The east coast politicians don't like us, blah, blah, blah. (wink, wink)

same audience: ???????

3rd question:
What would you take away from your campaign, if you had a choice?
Mavericks don't look back. We are the future. We are the reform. We cross the line and reach out to the enemy and convert them into mavericks. This country when we are in the White House will be a country of Mavericks! (triple wink)

4th question:
Do you agree with same sex joint ownership of property?
"I take issue" on that subject. Darn it! Not that I am against homos and lesbians, they have a right to express their own vices and sins...but, although tolerance is part of my virtues, I totally disagree with guaranteeing same rights to those perverts, but as I said, tolerance is the key word, doggonit. "We walk the walk not just talk the talk", blah, blah, blah,
(quadruple wink).
again the TV intelligent viewers: ??????

5th question:
What about the Iraq war and your position on foreign policy?
Hey, we are winning and we will not leave until we completely win. Mavericks, and you know that McCane* and I are a team of Mavericks, don't quit like you know who, those sissies from the Northeast. Give me Victory or give me Death, or you know, whatever Patrick Ewing* said. And John knows how to win a war, he is a real Maverick, Now, "here you you go again,Joe", "Say it ain't so Joe", your plan is "A white flag of surrender". "We walk the walk, not talk the talk", "Don't ask what your country can do for you...", "With great power comes great responsibility"
blah, blah, blah.
(double wink, pause, double wink)

reaction from viewers: ????????????

6th question:
Would you sit down to talk to our adversaries?
Yes, a maverick can talk to them sitting down or standing. No difference on that. I can take on anyone, as long as there is a pre-condition first which will have to consist on accepting anything we demand, and with the understanding that they have to destroy all their weapons first, "nukular" or otherwise, and that they all convert to Evangelicals. Once those conditions are met I, with my running mate McPain, will be willing to accept their pleas and grant them our pardon. We can do that because we have an army of Mavericks ready to declare war to Iran, or China, or Russia, or North Vietnam, or Venezuela. We are not like those boys in Congress, who congratulate each other and pad themselves on the back. I am a Washington outsider, a reformer with results!
(triple wink followed by a grimace of pain from winking so much)

same reaction: ????????

7th question:
What is your description of the Vice president job?
When I get to the White House, the first thing I am going to do with McMaverick is to change the color. White is not a hockey mom, Joe six-pack color. We like strong colors, strong and foxy, like me. We are debating between purple and red or maybe a combination of both. I know that for changes to happen we need to give the vice presidency more powers. Take for instance Iraq, where Bin Laden and most of the AlQeida people are building "nukular" weapons, The Vice president needs more power to accompany the President and destroy them. We are Mavericks and can do the job as a team, the two us, doggone it! I bet ya!
(multiple winks, Morse style)

TV audience: ????????????

Blogger notes:
There were other questions but I was so engaged on her parrotical spellingbee totally wrong answers, and her gestures, winks, nudges, etc. that I tuned off for a while in order to appreciate the good things in life as a buffer or antidote.
Palin was cartoonish, true to herself thus looking like a fake, gimmicky, a recorded tape of cliches, reciting everything they penetrated in her diminutive brain. Doesn't she have a baby sitter for her poor sacrificed baby?

When Biden chocked talking about his first wife and children's car accident, she didn't even show an iota of emotions. She showed us who she really was, a cold fish full of ambitions, ignorant and having the ride of her life in her own Disney World. She is a "Nukular" bomb ready to explode, who, if she keeps opening her mouth could , for our sake, implode instead.
I need to clarify to my Republican readers, that Patrick Ewing was a basketball player, and that I know how to spell McCain, in this instance McCANE as it relates sometimes to old age, and that all the wrong quotations by Hockey Mom Palin, whether she said them or not, fit her profile in this comedy.
And finally...PLEASE! Will someone tell these politicians from hell that the word is NUCLEAR, not NUKULAR!!!!

WHAT COULD SAVE MCCAIN?

To those Republicans that might be reading my blog (I doubt that), yes, McCain is in real trouble. He may lose by a landslide, as the polls keep showing his downward fall, while Obama keeps going up with state and national polls. The maverick is getting thrashed and if this trend continues with 34 days to go, we may be witnessing a landslide by Obama.
But...and here is a big but...Don't underestimate the Republican trickery, they are full of ruses up their sleeves, and most of them dirty ones. I can think of the following ones:

(The picture above shows McCain hugging Bush, unrelated to this story, but related to his ideology)
( the above picture is definitely related to the story )
1.- Two weeks before election day the White House announces they have captured Osama Bin Laden, after following McCain's plan and secret advice.Of course, they don't divulge where they have Bin Laden and how they got him. Everything is TOP SECRET, and McCain is enjoying an incredible rise in the polls that puts him back in contention with high possibilities of winning it all. Am I implying that we have really captured Osama Bin Laden? Of course not! I am just putting myself in the shoes of the desperate Republicans who would not stop at anything to continue their quest for another four years of arrogance, ignorance, lies, and disdain.

2.- The failed bailout, now called " The Rescue Plan " for the second voting process, gets approved by Congress with the additional votes needed by the Republicans who voted against it the first time. The stock market feels the effect of that miraculous injection and shoots up like a rocket to the moon. The Republicans go on a ticket parade with their hero McCain and heroine (no punt intended) Palin as the parade Marshalls, throwing kisses and making all kind of hands and fingers waving at their adoring crowds in Missouri, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, Texas, Kentucky...well, you know where. McCain's waiving somehow
handicapped as a consequence of his torturing suffered in Vietnam, and Palin's overcompensating with her fingers ballet-like movements. The Odd Couple on wheels.

3.- After a complete self-caused demise by Sarah Palin on her first and last debate against Biden, the Grand Ostrich Republican party (isn't the ostrich the animal that solves his problems by hiding his head in a hole?) will put enough pressure on McMaverick to dump Queen Crab back into the Alaska Seas and make it look like she decided to quit in order to attend her heavy, complicated, difficult and demanding PTA schedule. If McHero pulls this one, and hopefully for him not a la McGovern, who dumped his running mate Thomas F. Eagleton after 18 days of campaigning and then lost the elections, he may have a chance of creeping up the polls and still be a serious contender. Considering that at least three million Nascar fans, one million super senior Florida Jews (previously New York residents) scared to death about Obama being a Muslim who will support Palestinians over Israelis, the entire Miami Cuban population (about one million) lead by "the three licketeers" (the Diaz Balart brothers and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen), and at least another twenty million of "Hominis Ignoramus" troglodytes are strong McCain supporters, with or without Palin, the Palin Dumping is not a far fetched theory.

( Sarah Palin in Wonderland) (Will she get the boot?)

Unfortunately for the Republicans, Osama Bin Laden is still hiding among the Pakistani or Afghan goats, making it very difficult for the military K-9 dogs to differentiate the body odor. Obviously it is unfortunate for all of us that Bin Laden has not been caught and brought to justice. I want to make that clear before anyone jumps at my neck and goes for the jugular.
Also, to the Republicans disappointment, McCain will not be able to claim credit for the Rescue Plan, because Obama also contributed with his input to get this plan pass.
And finally, because it is a given that Sarah Palin has no clue about the rest of the world, or anything else, and McCain knew that from day one and regardless of that he chose her as his running mate. He must have his reasons because I don't think it is just to satisfy the Republican base. Therefore he is not going to ask her to go back to her wolves and caribou shooting or to her foreign neighbors watching from her window to acquire more foreign policy knowledge. He is stuck with her and both are going to go down these elections faster than an elephant in quick sand.
So sorry I lead you in, "my friends", into a horizon of great expectations. Did you think I was serious? McCain is politically doomed. Nothing can save him!

WILL THE REAL MCCAIN AND PALIN PLEASE STAND UP!

Do you remember that old TV game show that started in 1956 and went on every decade until 2002, called TO TELL THE TRUTH?

I happened to be one of the lucky contestants in the show aired in 1971. I was 30 years old then, and would do anything for attention. I was invited by CBS in New York because the main character was supposed to be a person with an unusual occupation or had done something noteworthy. In this occasion that main character was a hotel owner in Mexico City, who was simultaneously a bullfighter. The name is not important, especially because I don't remember it!
I was one of the two impostors, who had been invited to sit along with the real bullfighter and my mission was to answer questions by the panel made of four celebrities, and to lie as much as I could, but with total conviction, to the point where I personally would believe my own lies! It had to look real as the idea was to mislead the panel and get them to vote for me as the real character. Bottom line, I got 2 out of the 4 votes. The other impostor got one, and the real bullfighter also one. So I won $50 and an attache briefcase! Inflation, among other things, account for today's game shows that reward you with thousands of dollars. What a difference! (Cheap bastards!).

Anyway, as I said at the beginning of this story, I was 30 years old, energetic, always up to something new and always trying to impress someone, or me. That day of the show I was not even nervous and I felt it was a challenging thing to do, especially because I was going to make some money lying, kind of McCain's pattern. Imagine getting rewarded for not telling the truth just like in politics! I remember at one point of the questioning I was asked who was my favorite bullfighter and I, not knowing what to say, quickly gave the panel the name of my boss at work.
No way he was going to be watching that show! Wrong. He did. The first phone call I got the next morning at 9:01 was his. Fortunately, it was inconsequential and we both had a good laugh about it.

It doesn't work that way when one lies in real life to obtain what otherwise one would not have the capacity with his own credentials and means. As a matter of fact, besides hurting other people one would eventually hurt himself even more. That is, of course, if one had any principles.

I would love to recreate "To tell the truth" but with a Machiavellian twist. Instead of having a central character with an unusual occupation, I would
stick both McCain and Palin behind a long desk that would seat 4 people instead of 3. Both contestants would play musical chairs, occupying always a different chair as if they were different people. So two contestants and four characters with different answers all the time for the same questions. Kind of the real thing in the Republican ticket. And best of all, to maintain the essence of the show alive, all lies, which would look terribly natural with these two "characters"

At the end the celebrity panel would pose the famous question (with the necessary modification): "Will the real McCain and Palin please stand up!" What chair would they chose to stand up from? The confusion moving from one chair to another, standing up, sitting down, back and forth would create a total chaos and both the panel and the audience would crack up laughing at that ridiculous scene. I guess, kind of what's happening during the Republican campaign now, because neither one, after so many lies, know who they really are.

PS.
I don't have that briefcase anymore and I regret it today. It would have been a nice memento of a chapter of my life. As for McCain and Palin, when this is over and years go by, they will never lose their mementos. It is way inside them. It is their conscience. Was it worthy?

POLITICAL GARBAGE FLOODS THE INTERNET

We've been watching the news and we are horrified by the tragedy in Iowa, where so many homes have been washed out and so many families are now trying to pick up the pieces after losing everything they had to mother nature. Of course, faulty levees built by unscrupulous engineering firms, and cheap construction collaborated in this demise. Our hearts are with these suffering people and we hope that the Bush administration redeems itself from the other catastrophic event during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans 2 years ago. That said I will remit to a different type of flood that is happening on a daily basis on the Internet. THE POLITICAL GARBAGE FLOOD. There isn't one single day that I don't open my email and find a piece of garbage forwarded to me by friends or family, who unbeknown to them (and this is the real problem) they also forward to other people. A geometrical progression occurs and all of a sudden thousands of people receive the same garbage.



These are emails generated by cowards who have a way to hide within the vast world of "Planet Cybernia" with phony names and undeliverable email addresses to avoid a reply from people like me who investigate all the lies they try to choke us with. They have a political hidden agenda, but the only way they know and choose to persuade us is by fabricating or using false material as truth. I would like to mention 2 names which I have seen now quite often as generators of false information. One of them is Gary Hancock, and the other one Joanna Shager Hocker. I don't even know if these people exist or these are invented names, like the information they send. The only Gary Hancok I knew was this mediocre baseball player from the late 70s and early 80s who played for the Red Sox and Oakland A's. As for Joanna Shager Hocker, the only thing I could find out in Google was a Psychologist somewhere with the same name. Both characters who send this political garbage have probably different names, and their cowardice can only be matched by their sick desire to spread their lies through the Internet.



If you read this blog I strongly recommend you do like I do every time I receive an email from a friend or a family member,which contains political information to demean or disgrace a political figure, generally degrading either a Democrat or democrats in general. I click on http://www.snopes.com/ and verify the authenticity of the article. I must say that so far, 100% of all the emails I have checked with http://www.snopes.com/ containing political information they are "so nicely sharing with us", are totally FALSE.

It is unfortunate that some people don't know how to accept defeat and the only thing left for them is to send us unsolicited garbage against a democratic candidate or a bill passed by the democratic majority in Congress, or to blame Bill Clinton for the mess created by George W. Bush and Dick Cheney and his corporate cronies in the last 7 1/2 years.

If you happen to be a Republican, please don't take offense, this is not directed at you, unless you are a right wing extremist fascist who believes women are second-rated citizens, and all Hispanics should be deported, whether illegal or not. Then do, please, BE OFFENDED. My pleasure.